This post is what I shared at church this past week.
A little update on our adoption:
We went to Kansas for the birth of the baby that we were matched with last month. The birth mother decided she would like to parent instead of going through with the adoption plan she had made.
Our hearts were broken, but we have come to terms with this change in our plans. Of course, this is not a change in God's plans at all.
Here's what I have shared:
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:5-11)
Why is God allowing us to walk through this unknown, this failed adoption?
Lysa Terkeurst says in her book It's Not Supposed to be This Way, "When His timing seems questionable, His lack of intervention seems hurtful, and His promises seem doubtful, I get afraid. I get confused. And left alone with those feelings, I can't help but feel disappointed that God isn't doing what I assume a good God should do" (23).
I've been running from God these last couple of weeks. I didn't want to spend time with a God who would rip a baby from our arms before we even get to hold her.
I went through the motions. My grandmother-in-law asked me about going to a women's night this past week. I didn't want to go. My mother-in-law asked me again the next day to go. I told her I would. "Maybe God will speak deeply to my heart," I thought.
As I was sitting there, the speaker made several good points but I was still wishing I was at home. She started praying at the end. Part of her prayer was about turning the discipline of reading God's Word into devotion.
Yes. That's me. I want devotion again because I'm already tired of pretending and going through the motions.
That brings me back to Philippians. I started a study months ago. I picked it back up because I knew I needed to if I was going to fall in love with God's Word again.
That study, along with a couple books I've been reading, pointed me to my answer.
Humbled, from verse 8, means "to humble or make low. This happens by being fully dependent on the Lord, dismissing reliance upon self. This exalts the Lord as our all-in-all" (HELP Word-studies, https://biblehub.com/greek/5013.htm).
Verse 16 says we need to hold fast to the Word of life. Doing that in humility allows me to keep trusting God when things don't go my way or when the days get hard or difficult.
Why are we here on earth? Not to grow up, get married, and live happily ever after with babies.
Jackie Hill Perry says in her book, Gay Girl, Good God, "Loving me, He gave me life. Gave me a heart that was brand new, beating for no other reason than to love Him with all of it. And with this new heart in love with an unchanging God, it compelled me to tell" (192).
We are here to give God glory. We are never promised a life of ease or pure happiness. We are here to point others to Jesus even on our worst days. Am I happy I don't have a baby in my arms right now? No. Do I know God is still good and has a plan for us? Absolutely.
Then I had the privilege to sing this song.
A little update on our adoption:
We went to Kansas for the birth of the baby that we were matched with last month. The birth mother decided she would like to parent instead of going through with the adoption plan she had made.
Our hearts were broken, but we have come to terms with this change in our plans. Of course, this is not a change in God's plans at all.
Here's what I have shared:
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:5-11)
Why is God allowing us to walk through this unknown, this failed adoption?
Lysa Terkeurst says in her book It's Not Supposed to be This Way, "When His timing seems questionable, His lack of intervention seems hurtful, and His promises seem doubtful, I get afraid. I get confused. And left alone with those feelings, I can't help but feel disappointed that God isn't doing what I assume a good God should do" (23).
I've been running from God these last couple of weeks. I didn't want to spend time with a God who would rip a baby from our arms before we even get to hold her.
I went through the motions. My grandmother-in-law asked me about going to a women's night this past week. I didn't want to go. My mother-in-law asked me again the next day to go. I told her I would. "Maybe God will speak deeply to my heart," I thought.
As I was sitting there, the speaker made several good points but I was still wishing I was at home. She started praying at the end. Part of her prayer was about turning the discipline of reading God's Word into devotion.
Yes. That's me. I want devotion again because I'm already tired of pretending and going through the motions.
That brings me back to Philippians. I started a study months ago. I picked it back up because I knew I needed to if I was going to fall in love with God's Word again.
That study, along with a couple books I've been reading, pointed me to my answer.
Humbled, from verse 8, means "to humble or make low. This happens by being fully dependent on the Lord, dismissing reliance upon self. This exalts the Lord as our all-in-all" (HELP Word-studies, https://biblehub.com/greek/5013.htm).
Verse 16 says we need to hold fast to the Word of life. Doing that in humility allows me to keep trusting God when things don't go my way or when the days get hard or difficult.
Why are we here on earth? Not to grow up, get married, and live happily ever after with babies.
Jackie Hill Perry says in her book, Gay Girl, Good God, "Loving me, He gave me life. Gave me a heart that was brand new, beating for no other reason than to love Him with all of it. And with this new heart in love with an unchanging God, it compelled me to tell" (192).
We are here to give God glory. We are never promised a life of ease or pure happiness. We are here to point others to Jesus even on our worst days. Am I happy I don't have a baby in my arms right now? No. Do I know God is still good and has a plan for us? Absolutely.
Then I had the privilege to sing this song.
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